Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Let's get started !!

 This series of conversations is for “US” -who is us? We are the strong and determined people who despite all odds despite all criticism, despite all doubts, failures and loss.  We have Overcome !!  We are Delivered and Recovered from the terrible claws of addiction .  Who are we?  We are your sister, brothers, fathers, mothers, aunt uncles and all the rest the ones you hurt, abused, criticized oxidized, the ones you despised, hated, rejected we are the ones you loved, nurtured, pampered, spoiled and lusted over.
 
 We are  survivals and we have a story and we will tell it, share it and love it, despite the pain and confusion it causes.


 My life was a rollercoaster of successes and failures, dreams and nightmares.  I could not for the life of me understand why I could not give up the drugs that was destroying everything, even me.   After a string of arrests and imprisonments one day I decided with the help of a higher power, enough was enough ! I know it sounds too simple but it is just that simple.


 I went to some of the best rehabs, I talked to some of the best counselors, I even gave seminars and taught classes on recovery and how to stay clean but I didn't.  But when I made up my mind I was tired of the losing everything even my self esteem and and my love for myself I knew the only place I could go from there was death and did not want to die.   So I said that's it no more.


 Dont misunderstand me I said it was simple I never said it was easy.  Nothing in life worth having is easy to accomplish, it  is a daily effort every waking breath is dedicated to that one thing you want and I wanted to stay drug free. I wanted to live not just exist.


 This is not going to be your regular blog, we are going to share our fears frustrations, desires, triggers, and recovery.  I know and you know it is not easy to stay drug free daily something reminds you of getting high or something happens that makes you want to get high.  So what are we to do?  Play the whole picture If I succumb to desire what will happen, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.  Is the


Day 2


Hi ! how you doing ? any episodes or relapses or triggers you want or need to talk about?  Well I have to share something.   last week I lost another associate to drugs.  This is a sad thing for anyone who knows about the battle of addiction.


Because of this I realize the seriousness  and how important it is for me to start this blog.  I’m going to do this blog in a entirely different angle than most.  


 My research and my personal experience is every addict wants in their hearts of hearts to stop to give up the demon that has them tied down.  But have you ever tried to get help????


Right,  to get help to really to go thru a program ,to get to a safe place where you can clean up, clear your mind, oh and sleep and eat.  You have to do one or two things go to jail/prison or pay big bucks for this service.


This necessary need is very expensive.  This is a problem because do you know any addicts who happen to have thousands of dollars laying around to pay for Rehabilitation ?  


This is where this blog is going to come in we are going to have an on line Rehab. Yep, now we will talk really talk even if you relapse we will share that experience, if you are not ready to get clean we will talk about that too.  We need a sounding board, we need a community where we can go and share and vent and let each other know we are not alone.  Who’s with me ?  


I need you and you need me, together we can not only save our lives we will also help save someone else.  You may think “I can’t help anyone I’m still using “,oh yes  you can ! Maybe someone who is thinking about trying your drug of choice read our conversations and decided, “Wow! that person is really going through it, nope I will not be using that drug. “
Now you see how this will work?  


Let’s get started !


Let me tell you a little about me Carolia Yvonne Robinson, I’m 58 years old mother of 2 adult sons, for over 25 years off and on I have battled cocaine I’ve been to prison 3 times, 5 Rehabs, and I lost count how many times I’ve been to jail.  All because of my drug addiction.


I've been clean now for approx. 8 years (who's counting) and I’m currently in college, work- full time and loving life !


 I did not say life is perfect I said I love it ! the good and the bad.  I’m currently battling with some health issues and all the other issues that comes with life in general, family, finances, etc.

But no drugs, no jails no probation so , life is Good.  Tell me about you...

10 comments:

  1. I am so proud of you. You are truly beautiful inside and out, i will continue to keep you in my prayers and always wish you nothing but good. All my Love

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  2. Great post Auntie!! I am forever grateful for your progress and your growth!! Forever I love you!! Continue to share!!! Do what God has planned for your life ��

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  4. If I could give you a nick name it would be inspiration, you have been such a great inspiration in my life for so many years ,and I Want to say Thank you not only for being a Inspiration and motivator you have been a very good friend and I love you for That God is Getting ready to do some great things in your life I pray I be around to see Them keep doing what's your doing your in my prayers

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  5. Bless you and Thank your so very much!! I love my nickname !!

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  6. Hello everyone! I want to say that I am a fellow addict and have to same story every addict can relate to one way or another. An amazing motivational speaker, Les Brown, says is that 80% of the people you tell your story to don't care and 50% are glad its you and not them.Thats about the time I started realizing that I wasn't going to focus on what has happened to me or how bad I have screwed up. This is my life and it's not over. All the things I should have done are still there to do now. I notice that when I re-condition my thoughts by listening to upbeat motivation everyday that I really started to discover what my purpose in this life is. When I stopped concentrating on what I have been thru and if people were going to except me because of it, it opened up so much room on how ai wanted to grow and what I would like to do. I choose to dream today instead of relive a nightmare. It has taken enough. "The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry our their dream".-Les Brown
    I think this is a great idea and look forward to read more posts. Good job sis.

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  7. Dear fellow solider, thank you so much for sharing, It gives me great joy that you are not beating your self up, but striving to move forward. Continual to stay focus and never allow anyone to pile the guilt on you. That was yesterday, today is a fresh and new beginning. Your purpose is to LIVE a productive and prosperous life and you will !!

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  8. WOW !! It's been too long, The Challanges, the changes, Mountains, the molehills, I have been through it all. But I did not use I did not pick up a drug... The past year with all the Thriumphants, there has been so much pain and disapointments and physical diabliities, with no end in sight. !!

    Life, it happens and it will happen to you no matter what or who you are. How you handle it and how you preceive it is when the real challange comes. Because win or loose, there is allways another challage around the corner, no time to breath, just keep moving forward. Speaking of forward as long as you see some production some improvements some positive outcomes you are still in the battle and still stand a chance to win and ovecome and gain all that you desire.

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